dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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