my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
