I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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