I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
