You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
