YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize