508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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