Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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