So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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