one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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