just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They took my balls.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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