I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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