I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize