i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
