somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
