I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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