I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
