Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
