Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize