So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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