Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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