**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
