that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im holly from the hills drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
