A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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