whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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