You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
