if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
