is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize