how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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