Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
