Christians are straight up FREAKS
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
