How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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