You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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