he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
