Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Boobs speak an international language.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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