A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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