dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
