oh god the rape fog is back!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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