Apparently you make a good broom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
