Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
