If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
