alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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