summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
