She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
