You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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