I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
