So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
