Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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