i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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