So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
