He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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