Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
