her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize