Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
