hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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